A bum gets his big break.

Beggars in Bangkok are certainly far less annoying than in many Asian cities. They leave you alone, secure in the knowledge that they can make a good living from the reverse Buddhist logic that encourages people to give money to beggars to gain merit for themselves, but not to actually try to solve the problem of poverty. After all, if they did, how would they gain merit for themselves?

Thus, beggars provide a vital service, and if you don’t feel like working, you can make a decent living as one. Beggars can simply sit there with a cup, and good Buddhists will throw a few coins in as they walk by. Of course, it helps to have a sick baby, or to be missing a limb or two. Unfortunately, some bums feel the need to up the ante and provide musical services, and this being Asia, is in the form of karaoke. They’ll have a microphone attached to a speaker, which they will sing awfully into. If you’re truly unlucky, his wife will be accompanying on her Casio keyboard. I would pay these people just to shut up.

When you spend more than a couple weeks in the same place, you get to know all the beggars, and as a result, stop feeling sorry for them. There was one guy outside of the MBK mall, probably the most lucrative place in the city to beg, who had a pretty good business. Like all the other beggars, he would prostrate himself in front of his cup. But his unique contribution to the profession was his dog, who would lay next to him, with his own cup. It was cute, and the dog’s cup would fill up quickly.

Then his big day came. He was on the front page of the Bangkok Post. Now he only has to work one day a week. And the other bums outside of MBK are hurriedly training their own puppies.

So I may be cynical, and a bad person for not giving money to poor beggars with hideous deformities and diseased children. If you want to, fine, it’s a personal choice. But I have my reasons. First of all, they’re not going to starve, because the good Buddhists will support them. And how many of the disgusting injuries are self inflicted? And why are these homeless, baht-less women having babies? Finally, you can be assured that your money will be going to the local mafia, which takes a cut of all business on the street. The mafia puts the beggars up in shelters in return for their services.

A good way to truly help is to give the beggars food, which the mafia can’t take.

But my hat goes off to that bum and his dog, who escaped the system.