Sorry about the lack of updates. But now that I’m staying in one place, they would all go something like today.

I got up at 6 am. I walked 10 minutes past the packs of mangy three-legged dogs to the mouth of my soi, where I waited 10 minutes to cross the busy road. Then I took a standing room only bus/sauna to the Skytrain station, to catch an air-conditioned train for the half an hour ride to Silom, the high-tech business/counterfeit goods/red-light heart of Bangkok.

I really like the vibrant, busy Silom area, and the transformation that takes place every night when the well-dressed office workers go home and the street vendors set up and Patpong’s go-go bars open for business is astonishing.

In school we learned the rest of the consonants, and I discovered the reason for all the “h’s.” The “kh” sound is aspirated, and sounds like a puffy “k,” but the “k” sound is unaspirated, and sounds sort of, but not quite, like a “g.” Same with the “th,” which is a puffy “t,” while the “t” is a cross between a “d” and a “t.”

The book I use at home dispenses with all this nonsense and simply spells words with “dt’s,” “bp’s,” “k’s,” “g’s,” etc. But in the class you have to remember all the silly spelling rules, which are useless outside, since everything is spelled with Thai letters. That’s one of the reasons I’m thinking of dropping the class.

Then we spent two hours practicing saying hello and asking each other’s names. I already knew all the words, but remembering how to put them together was a struggle. Strangely, part of the problem is that there aren’t enough words, so you often answer questions using the same words in a different order.

Then I reversed the commute, and did research on the internet for the rest of the day.

Unfortunately, studying Thai doesn’t pay the bills. In fact, it is a bill. And a rather hefty one, at $150 for a month. So I won’t be continuing. I learn better on my own, at my own pace, anyways.

My reason for dragging my feet on looking for work is my lack of enthusiasm for teaching English. Finding other work is extremely difficult, especially if you don’t speak Thai. I’ve never taught before, and frankly, the prospect of being stuck in front of a roomful of Thais, who would rather be entertained than taught, terrifies me.

I also think I would make a very poor English teacher. I’ve accepted the fact that Thais speak pidgin English, and I use it every day to communicate with them. As a teacher, I would be expected to correct their common mistakes, but would fail, since I wouldn’t be able to make the lesson entertaining enough to hold my students’ attention. I would find this unbearably frustrating.

So, what’s a farang to do if he doesn’t want to teach? I discovered an intriguing opportunity, which I must research thoroughly before pursuing. I don’t really want to say anything else, since nothing may come of it. But suffice it to know that I’m not just laying around all day, and boozing and whoring all night. I’ll keep you posted. In the meantime, look for more attempts at humorous articles on life in the weird and wonderful city of angels.