How many Thais does it take to sell a pair of underwear?

One of the first things I noticed about Asia in general, and Thailand in particular, was how many people would be doing a job, and how eager they are to serve. In America, labor is expensive, so businesses employ as few people as possible. So when you walk into a store, you’re on your own. This gives you freedom to browse at your leisure, but God help you if you need help. Then you have to track down the one employee, who will inevitably be pissed off you interrupted them reading their magazine. They will scowl at you, and offer you the absolute minimum assistance.

In Thailand, the opposite is true. Labor is cheap, so stores have veritable armies of employees. And this being the Land of Smiles, they are happy and eager to serve. Instead of reading a magazine, or gossiping with their friends, these low-paid workers will selflessly man their posts, desperate to sell something.

I went to the Central Department Store near me to expand my wardrobe. Choosing a pair of shoes was stressful due to all the employees hovering around me, watching my every move, like a pack of hungry vultures. If I picked out a pair for closer inspection, one of them would swoop in to assist.

Buying underwear was even worse. A helpful woman (like cleaning men’s bathrooms, selling men’s underwear is a woman’s job in Thailand) is stationed in each aisle, who will brief you on color, size, and style. For me, buying underwear is a personal experience, and I would rather be left alone.

When I went to pay, I counted ten people in the mob behind the counter. But unlike America, where service workers usually loaf, they all seemed to be doing some well defined task. One girl would ring up the items, one would collect the money, one would get the change, one would put the items in a bag, and another would hand me the bag. The rest provided emergency back up assistance and moral support.

Supermarkets have the same abundance of employees. If you’re having trouble choosing toothpaste, a helpful girl is stationed nearby to provide assistance. Then there’s the free samples. When I was growing up, the monthly free sample day at our local supermarket was an eagerly anticipated event. In Thailand, every day is free sample day. The aisles are clogged by girls giving away all sorts of food, and often armed with a loudspeakers so they can hawk their wares. This is probably because of the Asian fear of open spaces. If there is a space, it must be occupied by somebody selling something.

Then there are the girls working at kiosks in shopping malls selling juice or ice cream or coffee. Instead of reading a magazine, listening to music, or chatting on a cell phone, like they would in the West, then glaring angrily at anybody who dared to interrupt them, these girls stand there all day hawking what they’re selling to passersby: “Blaa blaa blaa kaaa! Blaa blaa blaa blaa kaaa!” That’s dedication to a lousy job.

Interestingly, some new stores seem to be adopting the American model of customer service, i.e., no customer service. Tesco Lotus is the local version of Walmart, but is much smaller than the supersized American version. Like the original, there are few employees, none of whom are eager to help

Now if only I could find somebody to explain the difference between the button fly boxer shorts and the non button fly ones.