What are the job requirements of a Thai bus stewardess? Potential applicants must:

• be able to collect tickets and pass out a tiny bottle of water to passengers
• have legs that look nice in a miniskirt
• look pissed off all the time
• have an uncanny ability to remain out of sight of passengers for the duration of the trip

Yes, I’m starting out on the epic 15-hour journey to the island paradise of Phuket. Today was a successful day. I accomplished all of my goals as well as can be expected, and feel better.

First, I paid my 14,000 baht ($350) rent/utility/laundry bill at my current apartment. The bastards refuse to give me a discount because I’m leaving early. So I changed my move out day to the 18th, even thought I will actually leave earlier.

Then I went to my school for my first experience with Thai bureaucracy. I had to pick up a package to give to the consulate when I apply for my visa, to prove I will really be working here. The receptionist sent me upstairs, where I had to wait 45 minutes for the lady to come back from lunch (I had an appointment). She then took me downstairs and got my package from the original receptionist.

Next I went back to talk with the people subleasing the condo. Since my current lease finishes on the 18th, I wanted to delay starting my new lease as long as possible. Understandably, they wanted somebody paying rent ASAP. They are really nice, and we compromised on the 7th, So I only have two weeks of overlap. I paid the two month deposit of 14,000 baht (one month were I am now), and signed the Thai contract.

When I said I was going to Phuket, my new landlady offered to drive me to the bus station. I bought a ticket on a VIP bus for 755 baht ($19). If I would have had more time to plan, I could have bought a plane ticket for 2,000 baht ($50), but they were out of seats. So epic bus trip it will be. Next stop, Phuket.