I could have done that

Kikiat is the Thai word for "lazy," which describes my time in Phuket. It's been mostly just laying on the beach all day, and drinking beer all night. But I managed to throw in a Thai massage every day.

Since Patong beach is so unremarkable, one day I made the effort to go to Kata beach (again misspelled - it should be "Gata"). I found a motorbike guy to take me for 100 baht, enough to go halfway across Bangkok in a taxi. The beach itself was still only OK, but there was a slightly younger set of topless Europeans, plus Japanese bikini babes. Ironically, you'll hardly ever see a Thai on a beach, and when you do, they'll be covered from head to toe.

But, the beach was still covered with chairs, and the bastards wanted 100 baht. Extortion. The town of Kata was nice, and not in your face like Patong. There were even budget restaurants. When it came time to return, I couldn't find a motorbike guy, so I had to take a super tuk tuk. 200 baht. Ouch. If transportation weren't prohibitively expensive on Phuket, it would be ideal to stay in Kata, and commute to Patong at night.

Everything is expensive in Patong, especially food. Most restaurants serve seafood, so a meal for less than 100 baht is a challenge. Even McDonald's, KFC, and Chester's Grill (Thai fast food) have special menus, with special prices. And even eating Thai food wasn't an option, because I couldn't find it. The Thais don't eat the stuff they make for tourists, so they must be getting Thai food somewhere. I was finally directed to a tiny ally, easily missed unless you were looking for it, lined with vendors.

Gas station

I did go diving on my last day. I picked a place primarily based on the fact they said they had a -5 mask. Of course they actually didn't. It was still OK, though. I couldn?t see individual fish, but there were so many of them it was like being surrounded by huge moving clouds.

I also did my first wreck dive. It was a little scary because a)my left ear wouldn't equalize, b)there was a very strong current, so we had to hang on to the line tightly, c)the current kept making my mask fill up, and I had forgotten how to clear it, d)visibility was about 1 meter. But when we got to the wreck, there it was, looming all around us. Pretty cool. The problem with these dive trips with people you don't know is that some wanker always sucks down his air in 30 minutes, and you have to go up early. This is still me, but this could eventually be a problem.

The woman who sold me my ticket to Penang said it was 4 hours by minibus to Hat Yai, the 8 hours by big bus to Penang. It was actually 8 hours to Hat Yai, and there was not big bus. So 12 hours by minibus (an overcrowded van). Grueling.

My strategy of doing no research on my destination backfired this time. I told a taxi driver to take me to a cheap hotel, and he took me to the third worst place I've ever seen I said I didn't like it, and he took me to the second worst place I've ever seen. I paid him (too much) and wandered around randomly on foot, and found the absolute worst place I?ve ever stayed at. At least it's only $5.

I was once again impressed how clean and modern Malaysia is compared to Thailand. I don't think Malaysia is a third world country. It's also different because the people are a mix of Malay, Indian, and Chinese, none of who look remotely like Thais. Wherever you go in Thaialnd, everyone is Thai.

Georgetown also looks sort of interesting, because it has a lot of colonial architecture. As bad a colonialism was (and still is), it did leave behind some beautiful buildings in unlikely places like Malaysia, Cambodia, and Burma. But Thailand, never having been colonized, only has ugly concrete shophouses. In fact, whenever I ride through Thailand, I'm always amazed at how ugly the country is. But driving on a Malaysian highway is like driving in the US.