cannon

I didn’t want to come to Penang, but lots of people do, and there are many tourists here, mostly of the backpacker variety. Excitedly asking each other how long they’ve been traveling, and whether they are going to Viang Vieng. I’m here for a visa, though, so I got up early to look for someone on the backpacker street who could help me. I eventually settled on one of the Indian money changers, who also does visas. As of last August, visa prices quadrupled, and a one-year multiple-entry non-immigrant business visa now costs $125. Insane. Even though I love Thailand, this fleecing of foreigners, along with all the crackdowns, gives me second thoughts about living there.

I should have my visa tomorrow, and be on a minibus to Hat Yai at 3 pm. I’ll look into flying from there.

I didn’t have a map, so I wandered around randomly, and ended up at a huge mall. It’s incredibly hot out, so the mall felt pretty good. I could have happily hung out there all day (I am a master at killing time), but I feel like I am obligated to do some tourist stuff. So I asked the waiter at Pizza Hut where I should go. He said Fort Cornwallis.

So I took a bus to the fort, paid my dollar to get in, and was gravely disappointed. It simultaneously sucked and blew. Then I walked over to the museum, but it was closed. I had heard Penang Hill is nice, but a waitress said the tram to the top is closed. Another waitress said there is an interesting Chinese temple. Maybe I’ll try to find it tomorrow. Or maybe not. I just don’t feel very touristy. So, there probably won’t be any new pictures of Malaysia. Except for the gigantic dead rat on the sidewalk.

So, I’m back in the mall, killing time, drinking an exorbitantly expensive frapacino at Starbuck’s. There’s lots of software stores proudly displaying pirated software for $1. It’s conveniently out in the open, unlike post-APEC Thailand, where you have to deal with dodgy guys in secret back rooms. There’s even a store call the House of Condoms. You wouldn’t expect that in Muslim Malaysia, would you? If somebody opened a store with that name in Thailand, they’d probably be thrown in jail.

Crackdown

In the past, you could pay someone to take your passport on a trip to obtain a Non Immigrant visa. You didn’t even need a letter of employment. Just enough baht. But right before APEC, the government started enforcing the nonsensical and inconvenient rule that you must leave the country to get a visa. Foreigners have actually been put in jail for using visa agents. It seems they should go after the agents, not the foreigners, some of whom are just ignorant.

One of the attractions of Thailand is the mai bpen rai attitude, and the flexible rules this entails. But this anal-retentive enforcement of pointless laws is fun for no one: foreigners and immigrations officials, who lose a source of extra income, alike.

You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Bangkok?

They don’t. They don’t have it. And it has nothing to do with the metric system, because Malaysian McDonalds’ do have Quarter Pounders. So why don’t Thai MacDonalds’ have them? And why do Thai McDonalds’ (and not Malaysian ones) have a sandwich called the “Samurai Pork Burger?” Samurais come form Japan, not Thailand.