Warning: This entry has language that some may construe as “negative.” I’m just poking fun at something I like about Thailand. The British would call this “taking the piss.” Read at your own risk.

I love Thai Malls. I’m not talking about the likes of the World Trade Center, or the Emporium. In these big, beautiful malls, you wouldn’t even know you were in Thailand. In fact, I don’t know where you would think you were if you found yourself in the Emporium. Maybe Tokyo. This is the most beautiful mall I’ve ever been in, filled with the most eclectic collection of expensive and esoteric store I’ve ever seen. Need a $500 handbag? a $1000 dress? A $2000 pair of shoes? The Emporium is the place to go. And many rich farang indeed go, with their new girlfriend in tow. Topping this mall off is the nicest movie theater I’ve ever been to. This is the only bargain to be had here; a first-run movie can be seen for $3. Of course, if you want to spend $10, the standard price in Chicago, you can have your own recliner, and a cocktail.

No, I’m talking about the “real” Thai malls. Always a bit run down and dirty, and undersized for the amount of stuff for sale, and packed to the gills with people, predominantly uniformed university women. Usually, the first thing you see upon entering is a huge pile of bras, surrounded by women excitedly picking through it. Most shops cater to Thai women’s favorite things: shoes, dresses, and clothes. Unlike the Emporium, these items can all be had for a few hundred baht. Needless to say, at these prices, you won’t be getting a Gucci bag.

Other popular shops are beauty salons, because, after all, what does a Thai woman love more than buying shoes? Having her hair styled, of course. Rounding out the shops are game cafes running Counterstrike. The teenage boys need something to do, too.

And these are just the shops. There is space in the walkways, so they are crammed with stuff too. The most popular items are game kiosks, and mobile phone shops. I frequent the latter, because every month I have to buy a pay-as-you-go phone card.

Thai malls are great. You haven’t seen the “real” Thailand until you’ve been to a Thai mall.