Today I had to go to a conference on student services. The conference was held at the new Assumption University campus outside of Bangkok in Bang Na, the middle of nowhere. The place was outrageously opulent, and absolutely screamed “we have a ton of money.” Massive cathedrals, huge boulevards, marble pillars, and golden statues were everywhere. I have never seen anything like it. The fact that it is surrounded by rice fields adds to the effect. It was excessively extravagant.

It’s Catholic, so I guess they are trying to impress the Buddhists. Luckily for the Thais, their “mai bpen rai” philosophy of life makes them impervious to conversion. Given this, if the Church were truly concerned about helping people, the massive amounts of money needed to build the place could have been better spent. On feeding starving children, for instance. Needless to say, the students here are the richest of the rich.

The Pope John the Whatever hall, were the conference was held, was equally over the top. All wood paneled, with huge chandeliers and Thai-style gold-leaf painting (with no Buddhas, of course.).

My task was very strange. I was supposed to “facillitate,” which was a fancy word for being a secretary. I had to sit in a corner and take notes on an hours worth of the most awful Powerpoint presentations I have ever seen. Why not just have the presenters submit their presentations, you ask? Because that would be too logical.

I am an experienced Master of Powerpoint, and I know how to make a damn good presentation. It’s simple really: just put key points down, and say the details. These idiots had the busiest slides ever, covered from top to bottom with flowery, meaningless text. I have no idea what they said, because I was so busy trying to write down what was on the slides. Luckily, my notes weren’t used for anything.

The lowlight was the discussion at the end. The session was on “continuing education,” but “Mister Chairman” made no effort to direct the discussion towards the topic. It eventually degenerated into making fun of how Chinese students abroad study too hard. Mister Chairman even got in on the action. The sole Chinese woman present looked very embarrassed. This was the same woman who showed pictures of her sofas in her presentation, so I had no sympathy for her.

So, it was a ridiculous waste of time in one of the most ridiculous place in Thailand. But lunch was free, and it got me out of the office for the day. Plus, it’s not like I had anything better to do.