A different angle

I have a huge list of chores to do, since this is my last stop in the Western World, and a huge city to see, but not enough time to do it all. I figured I might as well see the city first, so I went on the free two-hour harbor cruise I got for staying four nights at my hostel. Incidentally, the hostel is the home of the biggest cockroach I've ever see. It's literally, the size of my thumb, and has been sitting on a wall in the bathroom for the last two days. Also, someone stole my orange juice from the kitchenette. And the room stinks. Other than that it's OK. The cruise was nice, and provided spectacular views of Sydney's beautiful skyline and famous landmarks: the Opera House and Harbor Bridge. Not only is the central city huge, but the surrounding neighborhoods go on forever. The place is so spread out it would take weeks to see it all. During the cruise out to Watson's Bay, a little fishing neighborhood at the entrance to the harbor, we got to listen to a greatly simplified version of Sydney's storied history. My friend Katie would later describe it as "bullocks." I got off the boat here to walk up to the lighthouse and see the ocean. The trail passed Lady Bay Beach, a nude beach, which was of course filled with naked old guys. And they weren't just discreetly laying there either; one guy was standing so that everyone walking by would get a good view.

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Harbour Bridge

I met up with Katie from my Outback trip today for a little more sightseeing. She's been living here for five months, and is off to Darwin in January with anew job. We went to Darling Harbor to check out the Powerhouse Museum, which I heard was excellent from the Canadians I met in Bellingen and ran in to again here. It turns out the Star Wars: the Magic of Myth exhibit was there, which we both were pretty excited about. I actually saw it five years ago in Washington D.C., but it was more interesting this time since I got the audio tour so I could listen to Darth Vader explain what I was seeing. There was also some new Episode I and II stuff. Then we looked at some of the rest of the museum. Katie's mobile phone (not cell phone) went off about every five minutes, and she had to leave to go to a black-tie gala or something. Katie comes from a different world than I do: she grew up learning to play six different instruments, has lived in Greece and Australia, and goes to Egypt every year to wind surf. But that's why I'm traveling, to meet different kinds of people.

That night I went to the new Harry Potter film, which while painstakingly true to the book enough to make the movie long and boring, deviated strangely in a few small ways that bothered me. Then I found a Chinese restaurant/ice cream parlor/internet cafe with unlimited internet for AU$4, so I started the process of posting photos by picking which ones were worth uploading and then ftp-ing them. Lucking there was no security, so I could install all my software.

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An Aussie Christmas

No more sightseeing for me. It would be nice to see more of the city, and some of the beaches, but I'm especially disappointed I won't see the Blue Mountains. That's why I hate buying tickets in advance, because they impose a deadline on you. and today I had to deal with the fact that Quantas won't let me on the plane to Singapore if I don't have an onward ticket. They will gladly sell me an expensive "fully refundable" ticket back here, of course, which is really stupid. i don't want to deal with that, so I decided to buy my train ticket out of Sigapore. This necesited figuring out where I wanted to go, so first I had to buy my Lonely Planet and do some reading. I'm of course aware of the State Department's advisory on Malaysia, so I will only be making a couple of stops, proceeding pretty quickly to Thailand. As a lone traveler, traveling with the Malaysians, I should be fine, since the terrorists go after large groups of tourists. By avoiding US and Israeli airlines, tour busses, Western nightclubs, and international hotels I am confident I will be fine. In fact, I had always planned to avoid these things. This is where I get to brag about being a "traveler" instead of a "tourist." :) Also, a little common sense should go a long way.

So I bought a ticket from Singapore to Melaka, and had to pay a AU$25 booking fee and a AU$25 rush fee. All told it cost me AU$90, which I'm sure is much more expensive than in Singapore. Also, the train doesn't go all the way to Melaka, so getting there should be my first big adventure in haggling.

I also needed to buy a new day pack. I've learned that this, not my main pack, is what I wear 99% of the time, so I need a nice, comfortable one. I also wanted one I could use as a main pack if I go ultra-light in the third world. I found a really nice one for US$66, made by a German company called Deuter, and it just so happened my friends from where I used to work sent me a Christmas gift that covers it, plus a pair of new Tevas. So I'd like the thank Bob McLeod, Brandi Weese, Jeffrey Brown, Grace DiPietro, Clay Fink, Chris Latimer, Ken Lohr, Bruce Miller, Ken Ryals, Kim Shaw, Kevin Smith, Web Smith, Dave Steigerwald, Rick Tschiegg, John Cristion, and Pat Ferat. Cheers, mates! Stand by for pictures.

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Today was my last full day in Australia, which I spent running errand. One task was to find a dual voltage battery charger and a universal adaptor, which they don't seem to have in this country. I also saw an Ear/Nose/Throat doctor, who said my ear was OK.

So this is it for the land Down Under. I learned Australia is a pretty easy place to travel around on your own in, and it isn't all that expensive for a first world country, about US$50 a day. However I've been here a long time, and am a little annoyed at how touristy the East Coast is. I look forward to Asia, but am a little nervous because I don't know what I'm getting myself in to. Australia was easy. Now the real fun will begin...

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A Singapore Christmas

I've heard alot of bad things about Singapore: it's boring, overly clean, lacks character, and has a repressive government. I've found these things to be true , but by coming here with that knowledge I wasn't too disappointed. Yes, the city's unaturaly clean. There's no litter or graffiti and there's always somebody cleaning. It also has no character. The CBD could be any city in the US. The fact that everything is in English and everybody speaks English adds to the illusion. However the heat and humidity (S'pore is 60 miles from the Equator), and the fact that most people are Chinese, Malay, or Indian remind you that you're not in Kansas anymore. There are quite a few Westerners about, though, and I certainly don't turn any heads.

My #1 priority upon arrival in a new place is always shelter, so I went to the address of the Lee Traveler's Club, which turned out to be an anonymous building labelled Fu Yuen Building. A quick check in my guidebook told me reception was on the sixth floor, so I took the elevator and found "reception," which was an empty room with a guy watching TV. He showed me a dorm room which was pretty grimy, but only S$12, about US$6, so I paid for four nights.

Then I went out to do some exploring. I quickly noticed that even though it was 8pm, most stores were open, unlike Sydney where everything closes at 6. The first Australian to realize that people may want to shop after work will become a very rich man. Even the food courts are open late. What a concept.

Another reminder that I was in Asia where the trishaws. There weren't too many, mind you, since this is modern Singapore, but every so often I would see one. Some even have stereos. One was pimped out with flashing neon light and booming bass.

I eventually wandered in to Little India, which was pretty wild. It was 10 at night and the sidewalks were crammed with stalls selling saris, CDs, electronics, you name it. There were so many people it was hard to walk. I continued to Arab Street, the Muslim part of town, which was also interesting. Even so late at night the Hindu temple and Mosque were very busy.

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Nightime skyline

It happened again. My whole body is covered with bites. And again it's only me. The Swiss girls in my room didn't have any problems. So distracted with constant itching everywhere, I set off. First I went to one of the many malls to look for a battery charger, which I found no problem. I even picked up a cool universal adaptor, which will work anywhere. Next I went to Canning Hill, which wasn't too exciting, but there was an exhibit on the archeological dig there, and was free. I wanted to learn about the country's history, so next I went to the National History Museum. Turns out today is a holiday, so admission is free, but the place was packed with kids. They had a movie called Singapore Story: Overcoming the Odds, which was strangely in 3D, so I decided to check it out. Before the movie they played a cheesy song repeatedly that went something like:

Singapore Story, I can't describe the feeling inside
Singapore Story, I tell it with pride
Singapore Story, it's your and mine

The film turned out to be pretty good, and combined with the museum I learned a few things. Now I'm not so sure if complaining that S'pore has lost its character makes sense, because when the British came there wasn't anybody here. So the place must have always been different from the rest of Asia.

I went back to the room and men Jan from Denmark, and we went to one of the hawker centres for cheap food. A big plate of kweu teaow for S$4, which is like US$2. Places like this and slightly more expensive food courts are everywhere, so this is a great place for food. I talked Jan in to going to the Night Safari, which I heard was good. It turned out to be a chore to get to, and took an hour by MRT and bus. What it was was a zoo, but at night, so you could see nocturnal animals doing stuff. They had the usual suspects like a rino, giraffes, and tigers, but also weird things like barking deer, mouse deer, bearded pigs, and a sloth bear. It was pretty good as far as that sort of thing goes, but my itching was really distracting. My feet were especially bad, where the bites turned in to huge boils that broke and oozed puss. Yuck.

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I spent most of the day hanging out at a mall. I know that sounds pretty lame, but my bites situation is worse than I thought, and the heat outside makes the itching worse. Also, my feet are swollen, so it is uncomfortable to walk. So I headed to one of the malls' food courts for breakfast/lunch and planned to spend awhile sitting in air-conditioned comfort. The food courts are pretty good, and you can get an entree for S$4, and it's all strange stuff like clay pots and fishball soup. It's very easy to order, though, since there are lots of pictures. However the places are very sanitized and characterless. I think the food was better at the hawker center, but that wasn't air-conditioned.

Unfortunately, by the time I finished my meal the place was packed and noisy and I was sharing my table with a family. I think three factors were combining: 1. it was Saturday, 2. it's Christmas shopping season, 3. it's Singapore. So I took my Straights Times newspaper and found a seat on a bench. An interesting editorial almost criticized the PAP, or People's Action Party, but seemed to be worded very carefully. Eventually the crowds became unbearable, so I headed back to my room where I could take a cold shower, the only thing that sooths my wounds. Luckily cold is the only option here. I talked to Olie from Britain, who just got here and will also be taking the train to Malysia. That night I went to the new 007 movie so I could sit in a cool cinema. When I got back at 11:30 I took another cold shower, then put on pants, socks, and a long-sleeve t-shirt for bet. It was hard to fall asleep because of the heat and the two snoring guys.

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I spent my last day here mostly shopping, which is appropriate. But not for exciting things. I wanted to get some pajamas, which I guess I'll have to wear no matter how hot it is to keep the bugs off. I also needed some gauze and antiseptic for my wounds. Then I walked along the river and considered taking a river cruise since it was only S$10, but decided not to since I only had that much in my wallet. Later I had to hit the ATM anyway, so I should have. Since I was only here for four days, I didn't get that much money out to start with, and ended up using the ATM every day. That's not good, since I only get four free transactions a month. That night I tried to find China Town but gave up after an hour. It's hard to get around since streets aren't marked very well, if at all.

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Downtown Malaca

Today was my crossing in to Malaysia, and I was pretty nervous because I had no idea what to expect. I also wasn't sure how I would get from the train station to Malacca, 30 km away, or where I would be staying. So with this uncertainty in mind I crossed the causeway from sterile Singapore to seedy Malaysia. The first images as we passed through Johor Bahru were of gleaming office towers with corporate logos surrounded by dirty apartment buildings and shacks made of wood and corrugated metal. Makes you wonder who globalization is really helping. Speaking of globalization, they played The Matrix, in English on the train. We passed forests of palm trees, clear cut patches that are empty fields now, more shacks, and busy roads packed with cars and motorcycles. An old woman with one eye sat next to me and told me how she used to live in London and was now going to her Doctor son's wedding.

Getting off the train was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but it turns out Malaysia is an easy country to travel in, and everybody speaks English. I bought a ticket to Kuala Lumpur (KL), which proved to be a mistake, since the express bus leaves right from Malacca, then took a taxi, which was easy since the fare was fixed at 40 Ringitts (RM40), about US$10. I later found out I could have taken a bus for RM3. The ride took about an hour because of heavy traffic, and was mostly through American-style suburban sprawl of ugly stripmalls. In true American fashion there are no sidewalks, so the only way to get around is by car. It seems Malaysia is developing, but in a bad way.

Culture clash

I checked in to the very nice Robbin's Nest Guesthouse, which is in an ugly square concrete building, but is clean and has some character on the inside. Then I set off to see the town. Malacca seems to have a serious case of schizophrenia. The place's big claim to fame is that it was the site of a prosperouse sultanate and the major trading capital of the region until the Portugese came in the 16th century, then the Dutch kicked them out, and finally the British kicked them out. So there's lots of history. I wandered into the modern part of town, though, which consists mainly of the aforementioned ugly, dirty, white, 3-story concrete box buildings. However there are also a bunch of high-rise hotels, mostly on the shore, obscuring the view to the Straight of Malacca. These were built during the prosperous early 90s, but then construction was stopped when the Asian currency crisis hit. So there are also a bunch of half-finished hotels. There's a ton of traffic too, and it's always moving, since there are no stop signs or traffic lights. A large part of the traffic is noisy, racing motorcycles. This and the lack of sidewalks makes it difficult to get around on foot.

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The Maritime Museum

I'm here for culture, so I went all-out on museums. I went to the Malaysian Independence Memorial, the Democracy Museum, the Sultan's Palace, and the Maritime Museum, as well as walking up St. John's Hill to look at the ruins of the old chapel. The museums where old and musty and didn't contain too many artifacts, mostly panels of text. The Sultan's Palace had displays on the traders who used to come here, with mannequins wearing their traditional clothes. However they only had a couple types of mannequin, so all the Chinese traders were clones, as where the Indian traders, etc. The Maritime Museum was especially bad. It was a replica of a Dutch ship, and inside was a sauna filled with more mannequins. There was another building with displays of random equipment with no theme or explanation.

That night I went to an Indian restaurant and found where all the tourists go. The food was mediocre, the portions were small, and the price was exorbitant: RM17, about US$4.50. Belive me, that's expensive here. I have to get up the nerve to order food from the street vendor the locals eat at.

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Downtown KL

I made a made a mistake buying my train ticket to KL when I got here. Turns out the bus is cheaper, leaves from town, and the guesthouse manager would have got the ticket for me. As it was I missed the bus to Tampas, where the train station is, so I had to take a taxi for RM50. Expensive.

The train ride was uneventful, and I arrived in the shiny new KL Central Station right on schedule an hour late at 6 pm. Most guesthouses are in Chinatown, but Lonely Planet says there is a nice one in the Golden Triangle. They make it easy to take a taxi since you buy a coupon for where you want to go and give it to the driver, avoiding haggling. He didn't know where the street was, but eventually found it, and it was worth it, because the place is really nice. I splurged and paid the extra 3 Ringitts to get an AC dorm for RM15, or US$3.50.

Two blocks from the guesthouse is a whole street of vendors selling Chinese food from stalls. After walking around confused for awhile a hawker called me over, so I ordered something from her called a curry mee (I later learned "mee" means noodles) and a honeydew juice. It turned out to be one of those bowls of soup with noodles and chunks of stuff that you eat with chopsticks and a spoon. It was delicious, and all told was RM6. The juices are great too. For 1 Ringitt they will whip up a fresh juice for you. So far I've tried honeydew, watermelon, sugar cane, coconut, and rosemary. The food's great, but you have to put up with the Chinese people spitting all the time. And not just simple spitting, they'll often hock up huge luggies. I guess the Chinese have phlegm problems.

Then I walked to the Petronas Towers, the tallest buildings in the world, and took the obligatory photos. There's a six-level shopping mall at the bottom. It's impressive that everything is open late here, once again unlike Sydney. The city seems alive at all hours. I took the clean, modern LRT to Chinatown to check out the night market. It was blocks and blocks of venders filling the streets selling tee-shirts, CDs, DVDs of movies that are still in cinemas, watches, jewelry, Windows XP, you name it. It was hot and packed with people, so I had to resort to more fresh fruit juice.

On a corner of Bukit Bintang, the main street in the Golden Triangle, guys come up to me every time I walk by at night and ask quietly if I am looking for a young lady. One even asked if I need ladies. I guess he had a two for one deal going.

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Chinatown night market

Today I did most of the tourist stuff. You can't go to the top of the Petronas Towers, so I went up the KL Tower instead, which is the world's fourth tallest communication tower. It cost RM15, but the views were good and there was a free audio tour included. It was neat to see the Petronas Towers from up here, because you could see the minaret-like tops are shiny and silver. You also get the sense that KL is very spread out, with no central downtown, but clusters of skyscrapers everywhere. There's also lots of half-finished building being built, and what look like half-demolished buildings that have been abandoned.

Then I took a taxi to the brand new Islamic Arts Museum, which the driver had never heard of. It was really good, and actually had artfacts on display. Lots of ancient Quorans beautifully decorated, manuscripts, including 800-year-old treatises on geometry and astronomy, weapons, jewelry, and clothing. The most interesting was a display on the architecture of mosques, with beautiful scale models of famous ones, including the Big Two, the ones in Mecca and Medan, which are massive to accommodate one million pilgrims.

Then I was close to the National Museum, which I wasn't too excited about, but LP says they have something called an "amok catcher," used to capture people running amok, so I just had to see what the heck that was all about. The museum was old and moldy, and had lots of mannequins wearing costumes. I finally found the amok catcher in a deserted display on weapons, and it turned out to be a pole with barbs on the end that you put around someone's neck. Pretty anti-climactic.

Room with a view

Before I had left I had more street food, a cury lasi, another bowl of soup with chunks of chicken, bone and all. Maybe I can't stomach that stuff early in the day, because I got my first case of diarrhea. Nothing major, but enough to be annoying.

I found that my two tee shirts aren't enough here, since they get sweaty and stinky fast, especially the polyester one, which is great for wicking away sweat, but gets super stinky. So I went back to the night market and haggled myself another one for RM15, about US$3.50. I paid way too much.

I've been thinking about the point of travel. If you're on a two week holiday sightseeing is fine, but traveling for months and only spending a couple of days in each place to see sights gets old fast, and is pretty tiring to boot. And for the most part a museum's a museum, and a temple's a temple. I think for me it's more fun just to be in a place and observe the people rather than to run around all the time to check all the sights off your list.

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Not the Bat Cave

There's a Dutch guy in my room, Maurice, who's been here a month. He met a stewardess on a flight to Saravak, them promptly came back to KL to be with her. Problem is she has another Dutch boyfriend. She's on a flight now, so he's killing time until she gets back and he can hopefully resolve his complicated situation. So we went to see the Batu Caves outside of town. This is the place the Hindus have the Thaipusan festival where they stick pins through their skin and carry weight with them. The place probably would have been more interesting during the festival. There were some colorful Hindu carvings, but the place was dirty and there was graffiti everywhere. There were also some agressive monkeys, one which stole a woman's wallet out of her purse.

Back in town Maurice was able to strike up a conversation with practically every attractive woman we came across. The Dutch seem to be generally outgoing and likable, but he also knows a bit of Malay, and people love it when you talk to them in their own language. All I know how to say is "toilet" (tandas). Gotta work on that.

Silly tourist

That night we went to a nightclub so Maurice could forget his problems. It was a real nightclub packed with locals, not a shitty backpacker bar. There were many beautiful women there, but almost immediately a not so beautiful one Maurice later dubbed "Miss Piggy" came right up to him and started talking to him like she knew him, and wouldn't go away for the rest of the night. Maurice said it was hard to tell the working girls from the legitimate ones, so at first we didn't know her motivation, but it later became apparent that she just wanted some "how's yer father." One thing she Said was that all the Chinese women there were working girls. Since she was Malay there probably wasn't much truth to the statement.

Of course Maurice was able to strike up a conversation with any woman he chose. I hadn't gone out since Byron Bay, though, and as I seem to do when I haven't gone out in awhile I had a bit too much to drink, which was easy to do since we were drinking huge half liter mugs of beer. I went to the tandas, and on the way back down the stairs slipped and slid down on my ass. On my next trip a beautiful woman smiled at me, but then I passed out in the tandas and woke up on the floor. Luckily I made it back down to Maurice and he administered water to me. Miss Piggy left at 3, and wanted Maurice to call him. We stayed until the place closed at 3:15, then got Indian food. It was a good night. So good there will be no way I'll get up for the bus to the Tamara Nagara National Park tomorrow at 6 I paid RM30 for. That's what I get for planning ahead.

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Cheap and delicious

This place may be dirty, noisy, hot, and crowded, but the people are friendly, the food is good, the prices are cheap, and there is great nightlife. It's the most exciting place I've been and it was easy for Maurice to talk me in to staying through the weekend. It's the kind of place where anything can happen. I tried to sleep in, but the guesthouse guys kept waking me up and asking if I was going to the National Park, then later if I was going to pay for another night. Eventually they left me alone, and I was able to sleep until 12:30. Unfortunately, the bowel situation his not been solid since I got here, and I was still feeling queasy from last night. I wanted some Western food to settle my stomach, so I went to Planet Hollywood and paid RM40 (US$10) for a little pizza and an ice tea. Ouch. Dinner was better because Maurice and I had a ton of sushi for RM20.

Tonight we went to the place across the street from where we were last night, which is where all the locals go. I couldn't get in last night since I had sandals on. The place was a big step up, and was packed with impossibly beautiful women, and very few Westerners, I think I saw three besides us. Strangely, Latin music is huge here. They play lots of Santana and a song I never heard before that's in Spanish. Nothing too exciting happened. A slightly annoying thing did, though. I pointed out a woman I thought was attractive, so Maurice goes over to talk to her to "help me out." I didn't want him to do that since that never works, and sure enough it turned out that she was from Hong Kong, a place Maurice had been (and had another girlfriend), so she was into him. Maurice is a machine. He wasn't interested, though. We stayed until the place closed at 4, then had Chinese food. I learned it's hard to eat mee soup when you're drunk.

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KL Tower

This is starting to get annoying. I didn't see Maurice tonight, so I went out alone, and had to practically beat the young lady vendors off with a stick. Not only are there sneaky guys on street corners, but all the taxi drivers have a sideline. First they'll ask if you need a taxi, then if you need a lady. Then I was walking past a parking lot and one of the attendants walked towards me. Since I wasn't driving a car, I figured he was going to ask me if I needed a lady, and sure enough he did.

I went back to the first bar, since it was early and the nice place doesn't get going until late. It was full of Western guys, though, and I was tired so I left at midnight, and ran the gauntlet of taxi? lady? guys. There was also a scary old fat lady strategically positioned on the corner selling ladies I had to get by. "Come on, give it a go," she said, like that was an expression she had just learned.

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Two towers

My only goal for the day was to buy a bus ticket to the Cameron Highlands. I accomplished it with flying colors. Hopefully I will actually get up for this one! Later that day I saw Maurice at Starbucks with his stewardess friend, who was incredibly beautiful. Aparently they've worked things out. He had been talking about going to Thailand or Hong Kong for Christmas, but says he'll be staying here now, since he has business here.

Since not much happened today, here are a few random items:

Weird Jobs
If you're bored with your job, KL may be the place for you. There are exciting oportunities in bubble-blowing (guys stand outside of malls with bubble-blowing machines all day), tandas attending (it costs 20 sen to use the tandas, and somebody sits outside collecting the money, and gives you a ticket), or product promotion (scantily-clad women whose outfits bear product names patrol night clubs selling gum and cigarettes). Of course there's alwyas the lucrative young lady promotion business also.

Even a monkey would love Malaysia

Misconceptions
I didn't really know what to expect in Malaysia, but I guess I thought it would be more primitive. The reality is a very developed country filled with cars, buildings, highways, and lots of construction. High tech skyscrapers are next to dirty shacks. But even the shacks have satellite dishes. All the development makes fore a dirty and ugly place, but the people are friendly and speak English, so travel is easy.

Terrorism
Our government has a travel warning on Malaysia, but after visiting I am inclined to pay even less attention to those than I did before. I think the State Department is more motivated by politics than by reality. I've felt totally safe here, and the people are very friendly and approachable, and don't hate Americans. In face they love us. They wear American flag shirts, listen to American music, watch American movies, and eat and drink American food. Globalization is alive and well here. In fact, I want to get out of here to try to get away from American culture. But if you want a safe, easy, and gentle introduction to Asia, come to Malaysia. And bring the whole family!

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Change of scenery

I had fun in KL, but it's time to move out. Unlike the shiny new bus they had a picture of at the Chinese ticket stalls, the actual bus was a dirty piece of shit with no AC. I was so hot I was covered with sweat in minutes. To compensate the driver left the door open. Luckily there were no sudden stops or the girls in the front seat would have been thrown out. The way up to the highlands was a twisting, narrow road, which the drive took as fast as he could. He would honk the horn before going around a corner to warn cars that he was coming, and to get out of the way.

This place is actually a big Malaysian getaway, and is full of Chinese people on holiday. It's like the other places I have been here: lots of ugly, dirty concrete buildings, traffic, and construction everywhere. It's nice and cool, though, since it's at 4500 ft. I used the Lonely Planet restaurant guide to select a South Indian place, which was excellent and a veritable feast served on a banana leaf. Of course none of the actual Indian people there were eating that.

I was going to spend Christmas in Penang, Malaysia, but a Canadian guy in the dorm said "it's kind of a hole." I'm inclined to believe him, since all of Malaysia is kind of a hole. I think I'll go to Thailand instead. Ko Tau is an island that is supposed to be less touristy, and a great place for diving. It may be hard to find a place to stay, since it's the holidays. I guess I'll just go and see what happens.

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In the jungle

The guesthouse serves Western breakfasts. Normally I like to try different kinds of food, but if there's ever a time I'm intolerant of other cultures, it's at breakfast. It was nice to have an omlet. I talked to a Dutch guy who's going to Thailand today. He said you have to go to Ipoh and get a ticket to Thailand there. After breakfast I bought my ticket to Ipoh. Hopefully I won't get stranded there.

Then I went to the bus station and took a local bus as far up the mountains as it would take me, to the Bee Farm. There's alot of stupid shit like that up here: the Rose Garden, the Strawberry Farm, etc. I figured I'd check out one of the legitimate sites, a tea plantation, so I had a 2 km hike up the road. It was quite beautiful, with hills everywhere covered with tea plants, which look like rows of neatly trimmed hedges. They even grow on practically vertical hills. It would have been peaceful too, if it wasn't for all the cars honking their horns before going around corners. Safety first.

The tour of the tea factory lasted about two minutes, and I couldn't hear our Muslim guide over the machines. She was nice, though, so I tried to ask her how far up the road the summit of Gunug Bringchang, the highest mountain here at 2000 m, was. She either didn't understand me, or didn't know, and just said it was easy on motorcycle, but difficult on foot. But I'm never happy unless I climb the highest mountain, so I asked a guy down the road, and he said 5 km. Not bad. Of course I'll have to get back, but I'll worry about that later. I passed a father/son from Singapore who were also going up on foot.

In the highlands

I was going to take Trail 1 down, but at the top I met a German guy who said the trail was difficult and some guy had gotten lost on it for a week. He was going back down the road, but I wanted to check out the view. Unfortunately, it wasn't that good due to the fog, and the ugly cluster of communications towers. As I hung around the Singaporeans arrived, and were quite determined to go down Trail 1. Then a guy emerged from the trail covered in mud. He said it was a steep climb, but was well-marked. I wanted to see some Malaysian jungle, so after a rest the four of us set out. It wasn't so much a trail but a mudslide. The "path" was overgrown with roots, which was good because they provided a place to step to avoid the ankle-deep mud. The fact that we were going down made it more difficult. After awhile it got really hard and we were going straight down a muddy slope, with only vines to hang on to. When the path became blocked by thorny vines we finally realized that we had wandered off the trail. So we had to climb back up the slippery slope, about 100 ft. I lost my footing several times and slid, covering myself with mud. Luckily we made it back to the trail, which was easy compared to that.

That night I went out for Steamboat with Nissa, the Sweedish guy from the trail. That's a local specially, and is like fondue, but with meat and seafood. It was alot of work but was "fun-do." Nissa has done what I plan to do and taken the Trans Mongolian from Europe to Beijing.

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The tea plantation

This was my worst day of travel yet, followed by the worst night ever. Actually, the day wasn't that bad, since it was just boring, and I knew a day like this would eventually come. As I feared, I was stranded in Ipoh for 12 hours, since the bus the Thailand didn't leave until 1 am. Ouch. In retrospect I should have stayed the night and seen if there was an early bus the next day, or checked on the train, or simply taken my bus all the way to Penang. Oh well. I didn't want to get a room since I wasn't staying the night, so I walked around for awhile with my main pack on my back and my day pack on my front. Soon I was covered with sweat, so I thought what the heck, and walked into a posh hotel and asked if they could store my pack. They let me, and didn't even charge me. Things are so easy when everyone speaks English. The next ten hours were spent eating and reading half of the Fellowship of the Ring in cafes and the hotel lobby. I'm getting better at killing time now.

So that brings me to the bus. I'm still not exactly sure what happened, but after careful analysis with the cool Malaysian guy I met on the first of the three busses, this is what I think happened. Bear in mind that I had no idea what was going on at the time. I waited where all the other busses were until 1, then asked a guy working there where the bus was. He pointed across the street, then led me to some guy. The guy told me to come with him and led me to a bus, then asked for my ticked, and the RM20 I still owed. He said they were waiting for me. The bus drivers don't wear uniforms here, but he didn't drive, so I still don't know what his function was. The bus was really nice with only three seats across which fully reclined. There was only one other passenger, the aforementioned Malaysian guy. He said we were lucky to get on this bus, since all the others were full. We had to pick up a Malaysian tour group, though. Aparently the driver told the ticked lady he had some space on his tour bus, so that's what I bought the ticket for. We drove for awhile then stopped for a long time, so I went out to try to open the luggage compartment to stow my pack, since none of the three chattering guys at the front knew how. As I did this, the driver rolled the bus back and forth. I thought he was playing, but aparently the clutch had broke. It was now 2 am, and they kicked us off this bus on to the Party Bus, full of retarded Malaysians drinking beer. These guys were on a company trip and were 30-40 years old, but were acting like 12-year-olds, screaming, shouting, and hitting each other. They didn't go to sleep for the entire four hour trip to the border, and the lights were on the whole time. Luckily with my precious earplugs I was able to get a couple hours of sleep. I felt like crap when we got to the border at 7 am...

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After the Party Bus stopped for breakfast at a roadside stall (which was excellent, and consisted of some kind of sweet pastries), they kicked my and my Malaysian friend off and put us on the karaoke Bus. That was a bus packed with more retarded Malaysians, and to my horror, the bus was equipped with a karaoke machine, and they were singing badly to bad music at a painful volume. I had to resort to earplugs again. Luckily it wasn't that far to the border. Getting through Thai immigration was a pain, and they kept sending me to different queues, then said I had to fill out a huge arrival form. The stupid thing is there's nothing stopping you from just walking past, which many people were doing. Apparently they are Thais working illegally in Malaysia.

Upon arrival in Hat Yai, the place was chaotic, and nobody spoke English. I was tired and unable to deal with it, so I latched on to my Malysian friend, who was checking in to a hotel. It was nice to have my own room, especially for US$10, but it was pretty crummy. After checking in I lost contact with my friend, but that was OK, since I was too dependent on him.

After napping my only goal was to buy a ticket to Koh Tau, which was simple after getting to the travel agent. This place is impossible to get around on foot due to poorly marked streets packed with cars and motorbikes and sidewalks packed with vendors. The only way to get somewhere is by taxi, little pickup trucks with two rows of seats in the back.

This place is like a Malaysian Tijuana, and is a popular weekend getaway for shopping and sex. For the same price as in Malaysia you can hire a young lady for an entire day. The taxi drivers are much more upfront about it too. Plus there are lots of bars with bikini dancers, and massage parlors.

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Today and tonight would be the last leg of my epic journey to the island of Koh Tau. But first I had some more time to kill, so I went to the mall to catch up on my journal. As I sat there a group of Thai schoolgirls came up and asked it they could interview me as part of an assignment for their English class. I agreed and answered questions on where I was from, what the weather was like at home, and where I had traveled. It was fun, and they recorded my responses, so they'll probably analyze what I said in class.

I had a five hour ride in a cramped minibus, which was uncomfortable but bearable, followed by a seven hour ferry ride that left at 11 pm, which was unbearable. We had to sleep below deck, which was overcrowded and like a sauna. There was a row of mats along each wall, which only reached to my knees. As if that wasn't uncomfortable enough, each mat had to fit two people, so you only had a tiny little area to sleep on, giving discomfort a new meaning. Now I know how a refugee feels.

One thing I noticed on the bus ride was that even though everyone lives in huts with no doors, windows, or furniture, they were all sitting on their floors watching TV.

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My beach

There was no problem finding a place to stay, since touts were waiting for the ferry. The first one seemed OK, and I was too tired to think straight, so I went with them. It only costs US$6 a night, but the bungalow isn't that great, and even though it's on the water, there's no beach here. That doesn't matter for now, since I signed up to do the open water dives to finish my certification. We left that afternoon for Mango Bay with six other students: two Aussie guys traveling together, a Dutch Woman, a Danish couple, and an Englishman. They do things a bit more relaxed here than in Australia. The first part of the dive was a "confined dive," which we did in 5 m of water. In Australia we started out by kneeling in the shallow end before doing them again at the bottom of the deep end, which gave you some repetition and built confidence. After that we swam around and down to 10 meters. So we did a confined dive and an open water dive in one fell swoop. That's fine for me since I know all the skills, but I feel sorry for the other students.

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The beach

As you might expect in a place with no personal injury lawyers, there are many oportunities to hurt yourself. You get around in the back of pickup trucks. The dirt roads are muddy and bumpy, so hang on. To get to the dive boat you have to climb across two or three other boats, so don't fall or you'll be crushed between them. The floors of the nightclubs are littered with broken glass.

We did two open water dives today. I've been using too much air, about 50 bar (a quarter of the tank) of which I use in the first couple minutes descending because I'm stressed out about equalizing. I was trying to go down slow, signaling about my ears, but Henrick, our Danish instructor, just dragged me down. On the second dive I used all my air. We were doing our safety stop at 5 m, and I kept signaling to my dive master buddy 30 bar, 20 bar, and he kept OKing me. Then I could feel the air running out, so I signaled out of air, and got to practice ascending while using my buddy's alternate air source. When I checked at the surface my gauge read zero.

That night we went to Venus Park, which was having a big party. The place is in the middle of the jungle, and to get there they pack you in to the back of 4WDs. The dirt road has potholes as big as the truck, and goes straight up for part of the way, so it would be easy to fall out if we weren't packed so tightly. The place was pretty neat, and even had walkways in the trees, but there weren't that many people there. We talked to Henrick there, but he didn't remember anything the next day.

On the way out at 4 am I had my first banana pancake. These things are great: dough filled with bananas fried up, sprinkled with condensed milk, then slathered with chocolate. Yum.

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Saree Beach

We did two open water dives today, completing the course for me, since I don't have to take the test and quizzes again. They're having a three dive deal on Christmas day I want to do, but they're deep dives, which I'm still not qualified to do. So I signed up for the advanced course, since that lets you do the cool stuff. I left that evening on the first of five dives: a night dive. As you can imagine, I was pretty nervous, but it turns out you can see quite a bit with you flashlight. I couldn't see as much as I should have, though. The only prescription mask they have is -3, and I need a -7 one, so I can't see alot of things during the day, and even less at night. It's still fun, though. The best part about the dive was standing on the bottom and waving our hands around to see the phosphorescence.

That night I went out to a club on Saree Beach and the music was actually good, so I stayed until 3 am. I used the power of banana pancakes to start a conversation with two Israeli girls who I though were Dutch because of the phlegm noises they made when they talked.

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Main street

They canceled the big Christmas trip due to the weather, so I'll only get two dives today, and won't be going to Chumpon Pinnacles, the best site here. I started the day off at 12:30 with a deep dive. I was worried about my ears, and about nitrogen narcosis. Turns out once you get past 5 meters you're golden, and there was no narcosis :( The site, Hin Pee Wee, was the best yet. There were pinnacles we swan next to, and we went through lots of canyons. I didn't realize you always do the deep part first, so I didn't even know we went deep because I didn't check my gauges while we were down there. Turns out we were at 27 m for 10 minutes.

The second dive was my navigation dive. They just sent me out with the open water students, and while they used their compasses to make lines, I had to make a square. It would be better if there were other people taking the course with me.

During the day I kept forgetting it was Christmas. A strange reminder came when a group of divers swam by singing Christmas carols. Nils, the prickish Norwegian instructor got mad when they started singing Jingle Bells, and chucked pineapples at them.

Back at the resort they prepared a traditional Christmas dinner for free. Aparently a traditional Thai Christmas dinner consists of spaghetti, french fries, and spiked fruit punch. There were some interesting people to talk to there, including a couple girls from South Africa, who I thought were Dutch (that is usually a safe assumption), but I was tired and dizzy, so I went back to my bungalow to try to read my dive book. I fell asleep at 9, and didn't wake up until 1 am,when I brushed my teeth and went to bed properly. This was probably a good thing, since my first dive tomorrow is a 7.

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A nice bay

Bright and early I had my multilevel dive, which I was doing with the American girl and Norwegian guy on my night dive. The only thing that made it a "multilevel" dive was that Nils showed me how to plan the dive with the wheel in five minutes. It was at Hin Pee Wee again, so we were doing the same dive. I guess for me it doesn't matter, since I am only starting to relax and notice stuff now, and I can't see much anyway with my mask, but I'm still displeased with the outfit. My displeasure was completed when Nils announced I wouldn't be doing the bouyancy dive I wanted to do, but a "naturalist" dive. So instead of working on bouyancy, which I need, we would swim around and look at fish I can't see, just like a fun dive.

I'm not that happy with the resort either. The bungalow's on the water, but there's not much of a beach. And the place seems half empty. In fact, there seems to be hardly anyone at any of the resorts on this beach.

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I took a taxi to Saree Beach, the main beach, to look for a nicer place. Turns out all the nice places are full. I found an OK place, but they don't take advance reservations, so I'd have to check out of my place and look again tomorrow. Not worth the hassle. After that I layed in a hammock by the beach for awhile. Saree also isn't much of a beach, and it was also nearly deserted. Koh Tau is an island for diving, not beach-laying. Then I went to a couple dive shops and asked if they had a -7 mask. The best I found was -4. Tomorrow I'll go to Mae Haad and look. If they don't have anything I'll just have to make do.

I haven't been eating any Thai food since the Western food is so good here. A place down the beach from my bungalow has a BBQ every night. You can pick out your own steak, fish, porkchop, or satay and they'll cook it up for you. After my delicious dinner I watched Hanibal at one of the restaurants. All the places (except mine) show pirated Hollywood movies on VCD, which means the sound and picture quality is awful. Some of the movies are still playing in cinemas, and have little heads at the bottom of the screen. After the movie I walked up the beach looking for action, but the whole place was dead. I wonder if this is normal, or if people are staying away? I could have tried to find a taxi to Saree again to see what's going on there, but that's a pain in the ass, so I went to bed instead. I'm thinking of staying here through New Years to get some more diving and snorkeling in, then heading elsewhere for some R & R on a beach, probably either neighboring Ko Pha Ngan or Ko Samui. Whatever the case, my visa expires on the 18th of January, which is OK, since I want to be in KL on the 17th for Thaipusam.

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Today a Thai lady at a dive shop politely reminded me to talk slowly when talking to Thai people. This is very hard for me to do. That said, all business transactions can be completed with the universally understood "hello" and "OK." The Thais here say "hello" all the time to get your attention: "hello pad thai pad thai," "hello taxi," "hello massage," or simply "hello hello " The people are pretty laid back, though, and aren't too pushy about selling stuff. But they seem a bit jaded from dealing with tourists all the time.

The businesses here are all one-stop shops. The streets are lined with convenience stores/travel agents/currency exchanges/internet cafes. The same is true of the restaurants, which are all associated with resorts and have huge tome-like menus that run the gamut from Thai to Western to Italian to Mexican. They do it all well, but nothing is outstanding. I haven't tried the Mexican.

Some more observations: the resorts are all operated by Thai families, and they all have a dive shop on site, which have farang (foreign) divemasters and instructors. Don't Thais dive? And here's one more: The island has a large population of dogs and cats, and all the females are either pregnant or nursing. The dogs all sleep in the sand, on tables, or on the road. One end of the beach is controlled by a group, and every once in awhile they have a confrontations with the group that controls the other end, which involves lots of barking. Except for the barking, the dogs are all well-behaved, and don't bother you too much when you're eating. The Thais chase them away if they beg, and they seem to take care of them. I thought it was slightly funny that one of the resorts was playing the song "Who Let the Dogs Out," since the concept of a dog being "out" is foreign here, since there are never "in."

As you can tell from this rambling entry I didn't do much today. I did go into the main "town" of Mae Haad, pictured above, which consists entirely of dive shops, restaurants, and convenience stores/travel agents/currency exchanges/internet cafes, and found a dive shop with the -7 mask I need, so tomorrow I will be diving again. I feel like I'm cheating on Scuba Shack, since Henrick and Nills say "hi" to me and ask me what I'm up to when they see me, but they screwed me around enough.

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We were supposed to go to Shark Island, but it was too choppy, so we went to Green Rock instead. At least these guys tell you what's going on before you leave, so you can stay behind if you want. It was great now that I had the right mask, and I saw rays, porcupine fish, and I finally saw the trigger fish, a big fish that attacks people. Luckily he was swimming away when I saw him. Unfortunately while we swam between some rocks I flailed my hands and cut my fingers in two places. That's why you're not supposed to use your hands at all. Even though I feel like I'm relaxed and breathing slowly, I still got down to 30 bar during the safety stop. At this point the divemaster made me use his alternate air source, and we had to ascend together. I'm getting good at that.

During the second dive at White Rock, which I had been to twice but had never actually seen, I found I wasn't wearing enough weigh. Nils said I only need 2 kg, so I took 3 kg, since I had been wearing 6 kg. We did a free swimming safety stop (no bouy line to hold on to), and I couldn't stay down. I flailed around and touched a spiky plant, and got some spikes stuck in my fingers, which hurt like hell. The divemaster had to grab me and stick another weight in my BCD. This is why I don't dive without a divemaster, even though I am qualified to.

After the dive my ear was clogged up, just like in Australia. The divemaster said I should go to the pharmacy and get some ear drops. The pharmacist said my ear was red and infected, so gave me some drops that cure "affections." So who do I believe, and Australian doctor who said I burst a blood vessel, or a Thai pharmacist who says I have an infection? The drops worked, so I believe the pharmacist.

That night I tried to watch a VCD of "I Spy" starring Owen Wilson and Eddie Murphy. Some of what Owen Wilson said was subtitled in English, often incorrectly, but whoever did the subtitles must not have been able to understand Eddie Murphy, since a laugh track followed everything he said. Very strange. I kind of wonder what Thai people think of America, since their only exposure to it is through low quality copies of Hollywood movies.

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I was supposed to do three dives today, but ended up doing one and a half. Missing the first dive was my fault. Getting geared up was pretty hectic since there were about 15 people on the small boat, which was made worse when I found a leaky BCD, so the divemaster had to get a spare, making me fall behind everyone else. In the rush I somehow took the wrong mask, and I couldn't see a thing, so I went back to the boat. I quickly found the mask in my bag. Doh! So I missed out on a site I hadn't been to yet. The next dive was at Three Rocks, which I'd been to twice already.

That evening I was doing a night dive with a bunch of French people and my American buddy. There were seven of us, and me and my buddy were last, so we didn't see any fish since they were all scared away by the five people in front with flashlights. The French people were really flailing around and kept kicking me, making it even worse. After ten minutes one of the guys ran out of air, so we had to abort the dive.

It's become aparent to me that the best dive sites are closed this time of year. The rainy season should end sometime in January but until then only five sites are open. Of course all the shops list Chumpon Pinnacles every day, even though they don't end up going there. So I'm not sure if I'll do any more diving here.

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When I woke up at 6:30 to go diving it was pissing down rain again, so I went back to sleep. I didn't feel like getting soaked in the back of a pickup truck, and visibility would be poor again always. Later when the rain stopped I went in to town to sign up for the 2nd of January, but the shop was closed, so that's probably it for diving here.

That night I met up with Henrick and a bunch of divemasters for the New Years festivities. I don't know where they came from, but tonight there are actually a bunch of people out and about. After admonishing me for diving with another shop Henrick explained the way things are here. I figured this place pretty much has no laws, and Henrick confirmed that, saying there are only six cops who are easily bribed. I believe that, since I saw the police hut, and it looked like Koh Tau's finest were hard at work watching TV. I don't know if this is true, but Henrick claims that because of the lack of law everyone carries a gun. I suspect he's right, since the nice kid at the internet cafe was reading "Gun" magazine. So in a strange way Koh Tau is like Texas, since everyone drives a pickup truck and carries a pistol. He went on to say all the workers are illegal Burmese imigrants who have no rights, and if you killed one there would be no repercussions (no that I want to, of course). When he first came here one washed up on the shore and nothing came of it.

We went to Haad Sae Ree for the festivities, and the clubs were full and spilled out on the beach. It was nice they didn't have a stupid countdown. Instead they shot off fireworks. I'm used to fireworks being fired from a secret remote location, but they were shooting these off from the beach, right in the crowd. Luckily the beer bottles they used to hold them didn't fall over, which would have shot the rocket in to the crowd. They also lit a bunch of torches, which luckily nobody knocked over.

Going home was a pain. During the day a taxi for one costs 50 Baht, or $1.25. At night it's 200 Baht, or $5. So you have to wait for three other people. I found a Kiwi guy who wanted to go, so we stood there with the taxi touts shouting "taxi" at all the passersby. We ended up with 12 people crammed in to the back of the truck, but it was still mysteriously 50 Baht each.

Getting around on taxis is a pain, but for 150 Baht a day you can have the convenience of your own motorbike. Early on I decided to stay away from these, and I'm glad I did. The South African girls wiped out, and showed me huge scrapes all up their arms. Then walking down the brick path in Sae Ree a farang on a motorbike was coming towards me. At the last minute one of the many suicidal dogs darted in front of him, and he wiped out. I asked if he was OK, but all he said was "the bike, the bike!" Poor guy.

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